Day 75 - Stress Eating and Me

The exact mechanics of how a person becomes overweight and obese vary from person to person due to metabolism, activity levels, psychology, etc, but in the end gaining weight is about eating more food than your body needs. For myself, like most obese people, I knew intellectually that one reason I was eating so much was because I was using food as a form of self medication to deal with stress or emotions in my life. I knew that, but I I knew that I also really enjoyed eating, and that I was a pretty controlled guy, and that I had some bad habits, making stress eating a smaller part of the overall reason.

Going without the ability to respond to emotions and stresses with food for two months now, I realize that I dramatically underestimated the role emotional eating played in my lifestyle. Nearly everything, good or bad, resulted in some form of food. Boredom was cured by eating. No matter how bad I felt, I could eat something fried and feel at least a little better. In the first few weeks of the diet, I found myself often short tempered if i didn't eat often enough. I had chalked it up to low blood sugar, but part of me wonders if I was simply having trouble dealing with my emotions without eating.

Nobody at the Clinic has suggested I take part in any sort of counseling or group sessions or anything, and I haven't volunteered because I feel that I'm handling things pretty well. The net emotional balance is overwhelmingly positive from this diet, and I've found other outlets for my feelings in working out or enjoying a nice cigar. I still feel slightly amazed at how prevalent my emotional eating was. When something good or bad happens, even now, my first thought is how to respond with food. At the most extreme end, I'm almost dreading going to a bachelor party this summer because I won't be able to eat and drink with the guys. This is going to be a really fun day with some close friends, and I almost don't want to go simply because I won't be able to celebrate the way I want to. Of course, part of that is because I can't drink, which is a different issue, but even if I could go, not drink, but eat all the junk I wanted I wouldn't feel nearly as reticent.

It's tough to realize that you had less control over your actions than you thought, and it's tough to to realize that you have a problem that not only has affect you your whole life, but will most likely never fully diminish. I guess being aware of the problem is a great first step.